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1. Helpful guidelines or principles when contacted
or contacting members of your group.

- realizing "close friends" may now reject or "turn on" me
- realizing they "wouldn't be able" to listen to me
- realizing one conversation would probably have little effect
- realizing the " group" was more important than me in there eyes
- love them
- focus on the positive
- communicate abuses or problems in small doses - don't hit them
with every problem of the group all at once
- don't take it personally - "I could have acted the same way or said
the same thing at one time"
- realize they are still under mind control
- generally keep the conversation short
- don't get caught in a debate - no one wins
- don't be combative, argumentative or judgemental
- say what you think or feel - be genuine - don't let the member control you
- set boundaries if need be - feel comfortable(or at least try) telling them
I need or want to be left alone
- tell them the truth about how you feel in a simple, non- judgemental way
- feeling okay with saying something short, that I'm okay and happy where
I'm at, and let that be a message in itself
- realizing I don't have to defend myself for leaving
- "I followed a policy of no contact"
- don't let them put a "guilt- trip" on you


2. Statements that were helpful, harmful or you would not make.

HELPFUL
- use of humor - It's hard to be "spiritual" and laugh at the same time
- telling them I still believe in God and follow him but avoid a debate
(discussion) on Biblical issues
- I want to be left alone
- I received "information" that helped me think for myself and 
I have decided to leave
- that everything is okay with me
- "I know how you feel about my leaving, because I would have felt exactly
as you do. But with what I know now... I cannot stay... I would not go into
great detail."

HARMFUL
- don't use the word "cult"
- I was deprogrammed, exit- counseled
- I would not make a statements of what they MUST do,
believe or realize
- You're in a bad group. You have been abused...
- Don't attack an individual


3. Things to do or not do that helped you. That helped prepare for a "planned" meeting.

- Go over what you're going to say
- Talk with your family about how you feel about accepting calls or visits.
Let them help in screening calls.
- Don't get in a position where you're outnumbered. Talk one- on- one so
you're not ganged up on and he/ she is more apt to listen.
- get an answering machine to screen calls
- prepare for a negative reaction
- Have the meeting on your "turf" or a neutral cite. If on neutral ground
make it clear that this meeting is just for the two of you and if anyone
else comes or "shows up", you will leave.
- bring someone along to get back personal items or make other
unavoidable contacts
- write a letter - delivered or not
- Keep reading. Know all you can about mind control so you're more
objective about your experience.
- Pray, prepare yourself emotionally. Don't do ANYTHING you're not ready for.
- develop other support around you




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